You don't have to put on the blue light

Lately in Sydney the Electric Co. has been handing out free six-packs of energy efficient light bulbs. You can get them if you sign a form saying that you won't take more than one pack, and that you promise to install them in your home.
Like many people I happily took the freebie. I wanted to change the light bulbs in the dining room anyway because they were rather dim. But after about an hour with the weird bluish light of these new bulbs, I got hubby to switch back to the good old yellow ones. The blue tinted light is just weird, it messed with my eyes. I couldn't stand it.
We replaced the light outside on the porch, and also my bedside reading light, but that's it. The others we keep as spares.
Apparently we're not the only ones who didn't install them. And of course, there's quite a lot of politics and money involved in the whole story, and not just green concern for the environment.
When it comes to reducing carbon emissions and all that, I reckon the best bet is to invest in fusion technology. Australia missed the wagon but is now trying to jump back on, while France and Japan are firmly in the lead.
In the 19th century, people thought that cities reached their population limits because of the incontrollable amount of horse shit on the streets. Help eventually came in the form of the internal combustion engine. I think energy from fusion will one day--maybe in 50 years, maybe in 100--bring about a radical solution to our dependence on fossil fuels. I long for that day both for the political changes that it will bring, as well as the environmental.

Parallel Universe

I share my office with several other post-docs. One of them is a woman I totally admire. She's my age, married but no kids. I was talking to her when I suddenly got this bizarre feeling that I was talking to myself in some parallel universe.

Here is a woman who has had a similar education to mine, some industry experience like I have, has been in a relationship for about a decade like I have. And yet our careers are totally different.

She does great research. She's published a gazillion papers in the last year. I'm still writing the draft of my first one at this job. She is involved in committees ranging from simple university tasks to multi-million dollar government funding schemes. She does so much and gets lots of deserved praise for her hard work. And she works hard, long hours and weekends and business trips all over the place.

She was telling me about one of her committees, and then she asked me, "aren't you involved in anything like that?". No, I said. I don't have time.

I have to leave at 4:30 every day to pick up my son from day care before I get slapped with a $1 a minute fine. I can't work weekends and nights. I chose a completely different life, and I am a mother first and foremost.

But still, sometimes I think to myself: that could have been me achieving all that.

It would have been nice, but I'm not jealous and I don't regret a thing.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I will have quite a few decades left to invest in my career after the kids (yes, there will be more than one...) grow up enough to allow me the time to work as much as I need to. I guess this is a dilemma lots of working mums have...

Three years ago today

Today is Junior's third birthday. Much excitement; this is the first year he actually understands what a birthday is and everything that it entails, like cake, balloons and presents. We are having a small party at the day care centre this afternoon, and a big party this weekend. Which is odd because they will both invlove mostly the same kids. But still, I just had to do something on the actual day.

Since last night I've been annoyingly saying every once in a while, "three years ago right now, I was having contractions." I will be like a broken record till this afternoon, then it will change to "three years ago right now, I was writhing in agony" for a few hours, followed by "three years ago, my son, the doctors finally yanked you out since you absolutely refused to leave after overstaying your stay by nearly two weeks."

It was the happiest day of my life... and every day since as well.

Tzom Kal...

... if this applies to you, then I wish you an easy fasting and blessings for the new year.

Australian Jews don't need to take a day off this year for Yom Kippur, since it falls on a public holiday. I think it's officially Labour Day or something, but essentially it's yet another sports day. I'm not sure if it's the rugby finals, or the footy, or maybe both? They both look the same to me; big men running around in tiny shorts and violently throwing oddly-shaped balls. The tiny shorts occassionally cause other, more hairy, balls to enter the field. I think this is a ploy to get more women to watch the game. I'm not sure, I'm still figuring it out.

Anyway, so last week everyone was telling me about their plans for the long weekend. These mostly involve having friends over to watch the game and also a BBQ and assorted food.

Now, I'm not a religious person. I don't fast, and I don't go to synagogue. But still, having a BBQ on Yom Kippur just seems like a bit too much, you know what I mean? It doesn't mean I won't enjoy the long weekend... just not so blatantly.

So, if you are more observant than me then let me wish you once more, a happy new year and Gmar Hatima Tova!

The Return of the Goth Dentist

Last week was that time again - time to see my Goth dentist.

She is sweet, gentle, 100% professional, and also has all sorts of piercings, wears black leather boots, and listens to Death Metal while she works.

The Death Metal freaked me out the first time I heard it but really, it's the most appropriate music.

Junior got his teeth checked briefly - 100% fine - and had a ride up and down on the chair. Then it was my turn. I try to be positive and see it as an opportunity to lie back for half an hour without a toddler demanding anything from me. I also get to practice my yoga breathing and relaxation. Always look at the bright side!

Shana Tova

Hubby has been sick for the last week with fever and sore throat. Looks like I've finally caught the bug myself.

I decided to take care of myself and took an extended lunch today (Friday noon - Monday morning). It's the Australian way!

Happy new year! Shana tova!!

The return of the Jedi

I'm back from holidays, refreshed, happy to be home and happy to be back at work.

A family holiday is not always quite as idyllic and fun as you might think. It's not easy spending 24 hours a day with spouse and child in one hotel room. I finished off half a packet of Nurofen just for my headaches. But overall, it was really good to be totally away from the daily routine of home and work for a week. And it also makes everyone appreciate the little things that make home so wonderful: your own bed, a piece of toast in the morning that doesn't cost $26, and all those familiar little things that make you feel good.

Next trip will be a big one, half way around the world to the holy land...

PM&D

Sounds like some "women's thing" doesn't it?

Well no, it's the uni's annual staff performance review.
Seeing as I just wrapped up my first year here, I have the honour of going through this task. What it amounts to is a small mountain of paperwork, several meetings with various bosses, and such general jumping through bureaucratic hoops. Just the thing I need to squeeze in between sick leave and annual leave! Very convenient.

Actually, it's not bad to have an oppurtunity to reflect on what I've done in the last year. You tend to forgot a lot of the stuff and when you are forced to think about it, and write it down, you suddenly realize how much you have done. And it feels good.

(By the way, I am still listing 3 good things that I have done each day before I go to sleep. It's such a simple thing and yet really fun and surprisingly addictive.)

The problem is that I will have to also list my goals for the next year and spell out how they mesh with the university's goals. And all I really want to do next year is get pregnant and have another baby!
I haven't found the section in the form that deals with that yet.
Oh well, I guess it'll just have to be a surprise.

Frequent Flyers

We're going on holiday in a few days: a week in a nearby tropical island paradise... I can't wait, ah...
When we booked the trip it was damn cold and the thought of lounging by the pool on a tropical island sounded delicious. For the last week, however, we've had one gorgeous spring day after another. So I was happy to note on my ForecastFox that starting from tomorrow it will be cold and rainy once more, and winter has not gone despite the promises of the global warming doom-sayers.
Mean? Maybe.

I really need this vacation.

I have to jump through a lot of hoops at the Uni to get all the paperwork for our trip to Israel. It's all working out though. But, that trip will not be a vacation. I'll have a ton of work to do in a short time, and whenever I'm not in the lab I will be rushing around visiting relatives and friends. All great fun, don't get me wrong, but not exactly relaxing.
Not like spending a week lounging by the pool on a tropical island!

I'm still recovering from that annoying virus I caught, and I'm now at the Ugly Rash All Over My body stage of fighting it off. Oh, I wish it goes away before our vacation... as if I don't have enough to deal with, what with stretch marks and hairs and all the regular stuff.
It's not easy being a woman!

But sitting by the pool with an exotic drink in a coconut with a little paper umbrella will help.

Something that only happens to mothers of small children

...and probably old people too.
It happens to me way too often: I boil water in the kettle, put the tea bag in the cup, pour the water, and then go do about a million things that need to be done.
Two hours later I throw away a cup of very strong, cold tea.
*sigh*

Steve Irwin z"l

The man who was the face of Australia for most of the world has died.
He did so much for nature conservation and education. And he represented the "good old Aussie values".
It is indeed a cliche but he died doing what he loved most... and apparently he also died quickly and with little pain.
He left behind a wife and 2 children. His wife was climbing a mountain in Tasmania at the time of his death. I was quite shocked to read in the news reports that she had not been told yet, while all the news shows were running the story. I hope she was told by someone close and not by hearing the sad news on the radio.
Update: I just watched the opening of question time at the Parliament. Prime Minister Howard and Opposition Leader Beazly opened the session with moving words about Steve. John Howard had a close relationship with Steve and you could really feel his sense of grief. He was loved by all.

If only I could run Linux

then I probably wouldn't have gotten this annoying virus.
Fever, aches, itchy eyes, and now an ugly rash all over. Yuck.
I can't even sit long enough at the computer without getting all dizzy. Oh well, I'll survive.

Post-war and uni politics

My stress levels have gone down considerably since the cease fire. I'm not so naive as to think that this is the end of the war; indeed it was just one battle. But still.
Last week I met with a new PhD student who just came here from Israel. We talked about his research and the software he's using. Then he told me how his best friend from uni had died in Lebanon. He was the last soldier to be killed before the cease fire came into effect. He left a wife and 10-month old daughter. Then we talked about his scholarship, and a conference he wants to attend.
Later that day I just couldn't handle the whole surreal situation any more. I had to go out for a walk and a bit of a cry.
Here everything is going on as usual of course, the sun is shining and we're getting beautiful weather after a cold winter. Even the Swedish exchange student was complaining about the cold. Now we have a nice, early spring (thank goodness for global warming!) and flowers are blooming.
Things at the uni are also going on as usual. There are lots of "activists" handing out brochures and putting up posters all over campus. Most are by the Socialist Alliance and usually feature rather histrionic vitriol against Israel, the US, and capitalism. Apparently some Jewish students were harassed, spat on and yelled at. This morning we got an email from the Vice Chancellor warning that offensive behaviour agains Jews will not be tolerated. Not surprisingly, there has been no anti-Muslim behaviour.
I must admit that I sometimes feel scared when confronted with these crazy Marxists and their friends in some of the other student groups. I've heard that some Jewish students choose to wear hats over their kippas so they won't be harassed. I don't "look Jewish" so I don't have that problem, and I don't walk around campus all that much either. But it's sad to think that this is the situation here.

Bad thoughts

Hippy "Peace Now" activist in Tel Aviv: "This won't end till we annihilate Beirut"

I'm usually a very rational person who abhors violence in all its forms. But lately I find myself in a bellicose mood.

Yesterday while watching the news I could only think of one thing: one mushroom cloud over Beirut, one over Damascus, and one disproportionately big one over Tehran.
The war would be over that same day.

I don't like what this war is doing to me. I want to go back to my good old optimistic self.

Comfort food

Maybe it's the stressful times, but lately I've been preparing and eating more and more comfort food. For example, I bought some semolina and I've been spending quite some time in the mornings lately stirring pots of cream of wheat (I found out that this is what solet is called in English) trying to get a lumpless bowl of yummy cream of wheat, sweetened with cinnamon and honey, or brown sugar and vanilla. mmmm.
It reminds me of my childhood when grandma used to cook solet for me. It also reminds me of the hospital that we were forced to "volunteer" at when we were in high school. We would spend nights there on alert. In case of a chemical weapons attack from Saddam, our job was to wear plastic clothes and gas masks and shower the injured before they were admitted to the hospital. Looking back I'm appalled by the whole thing, but back then it was just one big co-ed slumber party. In the morning we'd have breakfast at the hospital dining room. The solet was lumpy and not at all as yummy as savta's.
Anyway, I've found out that you can make all sorts of things with semolina: bread, cakes and cookies. Yum!

What he said

An English translation of Ben Caspit's proposed speech for Olmert.

Now it's personal

My cousin has been called up for reserve duty. My brother-in-law was told to be ready to be called up any day. They both have pregnant wives at home.

It's a tough job

...being an IDF spokesperson right now.

Making life easy for academics

I'm writing a paper: a process that is long, stressfull, and fun. Paper-writing also reminds me why I love linux so much, and specifically Latex and Bibtex and all that good stuff that makes life easy for academics. Of course, they work on Windows and Mac too, but Linux is the ultimate enviornment.
I share my office with several coleagues and I constantly hear them grating their teeth, pulling their hair, and complaining loudly about MS Word and such. They spend so much time editing, formating, losing images, changing font sizes, and typing out bibliographies by hand. What a waste of time!
I'm not a Linux evangelist. I don't hide it, but I don't try to push it on people either (mostly for selfish reasons; I don't want them coming to me to solve all their problems if they do decide to try it). But I'm working on another paper that's mostly written by one of our PhD students, and I asked him if he would be willing to write it in Latex. Apparently several other students started looking into it and got hooked. Now if I could only get him to actually sit down and write!
Latex and Bibtex work best with a good frontend. I started out using Lyx, which is nice, but then I switched to Kile which I've been working with for years and really like. (I'm an avid KDE fan so Kile is a natural.) For bibliography management I use Jabref which is a Java Bibtex frontend. It's awesome!! It integrates well with Kile too (ctrl+L pushes a citation to Kile). It can do all sorts of neat tricks, like direct Medline search and import, journal abbreviations, automatic local PDF searches, custom Bibtex key automatic generation, and other cool stuff.
Having the right tools for the job makes life easy. But at the end of the day you still have to write the paper yourself!

Some good news from Israel, for a change

A heart-warming story about the transfer of two African elephants, Yoki and her son Yitzhak, from the safari in Ramat Gan to their new home in Hungary. Yoki was reunited there with an old friend, Ninio, who moved to Hungary a few months ago. (Sorry, the links are in Hebrew and Hungarian, but there are pictures.)
The Ramat Gan safari has had a huge success with breeding elephants; 19 sabra elephants have been born there. The airlifting operation was not simple but ended with success.
Yay elephants!